do not know where I come from. Like me, most Mexicans are ignorant or at best what we suspect cases. The wealthy classes do know, the most humble as well. The ham sandwich is population who has no idea what pork bore him. Mexico is diverse
but has been named keeper of the bronze race. I do not feel well and I am, I am mixed but not brown. Since childhood conflict caused me the color of my skin and attending a public elementary and popular area is not difficult to imagine the scenario. I was white (literally) of a parade of jokes around my pale that I took the existential trauma, for example, I was nicknamed 'Maria Joaquina ", the famous child character castor, wealthy and rump of the soap opera's most famous child eighties decade. So complex creep like me feel bad for the first time people see me, "blonde sangrona and presumptuous." The excessive desire to be brown I pulled over to the first time I went to the beach and sunny too long without sunscreen to cause me the most monumental burned to remember. Almost could not sleep and my skin was falling apart on the third day was dark but not flaky, red and worse, a ruse. I was eight.
-La ardidez not easily removed, was rooted in the depths of my bitter and pale
be .- Textbooks of the SEP were not helpful. See illustration to majestic Mexica so brave and proud parecérmeles increased the desire of being "Mexican", to be non-stop direct descendant of men who had the most accurate calendar, the city majestic, the most amazing engineering aquifer, the most successful warrior race Mesoamerica. If I was born in Mexico City was the logical. I systematically educated to hate the English and everything about them, I was taught to despise them without knowing them. "Damn Spaniards who came to destroy the Mexica empire." Just shop around the museum of anthropology, "Look what WE WERE advanced, look how beautiful pyramid was, look, what glory was." In high school to read Nahuatl poetry recitation contests, I cover beautiful-indeed, my first drawings of realistic and carbon- the conquest and the independence of Mexico. Oh, Spaniards the devil, púdranse in hell for his sin, unhappy!
spent time and thought that high school history teacher had a more eloquent. In a class started talking about Spain, the identity conflict that occurred in Mexico and should therefore include in the agenda of the History of Mexico, the history of medieval Spain, occupied by Arabs and a Renaissance more serious and deep. I objected strongly to his thesis: "We are descendants of indigenous Mexicans, were conquered in the vilest of the massacres, I flatly refuse you want me interest and study the culture of a country's oppressive, imperialist, and more specifically: full of smelly. "Standing ovation, applause and cheers at wholesale.
" Okay, Olga, did you see what color skin you have? What language do you speak? What religion do you profess? "Blanco-English-Catholic." I replied. Do you see yourself in the mirror and see a legitimate indigenous or see a purebred Iberian?, Why attack that also you? ".
The answers to these questions, I plunged into the deepest concern and confusion of my fourteen years. It was not one or the other was a contradiction. It was not even the prototypical mestizo: brunette, curvy, dark brown hair broken, thin lips and small nose. I whitish, thin, light brown hair, flat nose, thick lips. I "was."
is the eternal dilemma of my country, love-hate relationship with Spain and contempt for worship-Indians.
We are not losers or winners. The Aztecs were the architects magíficos WERE precise astronomers were the invincible warriors. It was they, not we the Mexicans, let's accommodate not filled bags. If eventually the Europeans were coming to America, it's good that Mexico was Spain. With that history I / we are here. Evil While there is Mexico because the English were more hot-blooded. And blessed be the English, the language most beautiful of all (yes, more than French).
understanding then I feel that if we could more properly as we are, this medley is badly done but done and at what, if we accept that for reasons beyond our control we are closer to Spain than we would wish, that yes, rightly bears the nickname "Mother Country": careless, conflict and abuse (but say there is only one Mother, jodímonos), Spain in turn is a country that holds the fragile pins idea nationality, I talked with three English lately and do not see nothing but contempt for each other, if we were taught from childhood that were not even conquerors, who were not more powerful or smarter, but opportunists aprovechadísimos that was Mesoamerica eager to betray, if ... if everything that happened would cease to be the hunched-chauvinist-Marguerite-wipe self-prick-naco-prieto-get away-from-me. The assumption that we can not define given the vastness of our roots, we are more than a mongrel phrase "English + Indian."
that nationalism has little to do with skin color. Until recently I realized the damage that also means mystify the mestizaje in Mexico has been a marginalization even more cruel to the Indians and the optimized comfortable aesthetic and economic altar of the direct descendants of English.
curiosity I enter and begin to investigate where are the people that I have genes?. The state of Guerrero is a mystery, few records, doctored records, trace missing. Cuahutémoc born in Ixcateopan and his remains are buried in the local Church-town attached to the family village
-. The area north of the beautiful state of my parents was settled by people Nahuatl (Mexica primitive, tribes who left Aztlan), and Purépecha Chontal. Even I found some information that talks about migration alleged post-conquest Aztec groups to the territory.
My favorite childhood place is that place in Guerrero where I realized that my Indian ancestors were immigrants as well as Hispanics. I walked the main archeological sites in Mexico: Palenque, Tulum, Chichen Itza, Cuicuilco, the Templo Mayor, Malinalco, Teotihuacan, Tajin, La Venta, etc. So it irritates me too much criticism of which I have been expressing my need to visit and know the other part of my roots. "Oh yes, 'now is very European, "ps yeah dude, a piece it is and there is nothing excretable or arrogant. If I can not build a family genealogy for more than four generations, will assume me. My surnames are of central and northern Spain. The mother is Basque, the father comes from the Douro.
And both surnames do honor to the trees (oh, everything seems to fit so well). Spain not perceive Mesoamerican below but not above them. I look forward
contemplating the landscape for centuries also saw people who decided to emigrate from their country knowing that never again, perhaps I could well imagine what motivated them and if they came to clarify what future somehow return to his homeland in the form of Mexican tourists. Because more than the present and future are diffuse the past, when I sit at my niece Ana Patricia. It fits with gestures such that my mother said that he saw his grandmother, the same way across the leg and reload the elbow on his knee, the exact inclination of the forearm, the hand caressing the child left shin. The brat repeats without knowing, ways of someone who could never know because he died fifty years before the birth, someone who seems to have little to do with her life and early twenty-first century where he plays with an ipod and notes without a trace of surprise in the streets of major google street view cities.
While away, we are also those who were.