was not until a relatively early age (eight years) I learned that the birth of Christ was not a twenty-five December, but had adopted that date for convenience: it coincided with the winter solstice and number of parties 'Pagan'. However
the story of Christmas I looked beautiful. The archetype of the God who became man fascinates me, and more than they do in squalid conditions, like most people in the world, far from the luxury and power. Would have been in a cold night without shelter. The stars point to it. The wise men worship.
was born into a Catholic family and most of my life I was. Too sickly girl, the desired health seems to come from the hands of a homeopath who was also a priest and whose office, always full of patients, was in a building sucker Avenue Baja California. I do not know if I was cured because my parents left to take care both to trust such an angel in white coats or because somehow my faith even eight years was so powerful that it convinced me that something mystical took place when he visited the doctor and in the same way my immune system reflected that. Or just grew and became stronger. My parents however still believe that God Himself through the hands of the man who sent me the desired health, yes, me and another girl no more dying, with fewer resources, yes, me above all the girls eight years who died in hospitals in those days, yes, God saved me. The last time I saw that priest, my mother told him proudly that he was close to making their first communion and was the event I had a milestone months ago, it was the best student of the catechism, he did not think of anything other than the blessed day eat the body of Christ. And do not lie. But on the morning of December 8 that when we went to the Church of the Sagrada Familia, something that never crossed my mind began to conceive in my stubborn child, "What if God does not exist?". It was not necessarily a coincidence, in those days in school the teacher Carlos had told us of the Big Bang (obviously out of any program of study at the SEP), seeding forever continually vertigo amazes me: that everything that science has not managed to decipher. So I made my first communion very frightened and full of doubts.
Vertigo, that's what was so often and I clung to the ropes harsh religion. The only consolation I found the cool objectivity of science was Christianity. A deal with the fact that all going to die and we are aware of it, that there is nothing to prevent it. That the landscape has little celestial divine. Maybe we have some special or planned.
My departure from the Catholic religion was caused by the practitioners themselves. It is difficult to distinguish whether their performance is fear or desire to be placed on a higher moral ladder, one from which to criticize without regard to everyone else. = Highest step closer to God = my life is better and everything good happens to me is proof of his love for me, chosen creature among millions. It is not uncommon to find a rich and well educated in the ranks of the Church, be with God seems to give the green light to act even so petty as "God's ways are mysterious, while believed blessed by force supreme endows even more power. And when you think invincible in fact be easier . As the phrase that inspired me fool Diego Fernandez de Cevallos when he proclaimed upon his release, "I am well and strong thanks to God":
I do not understand what makes you think the religious who are the darlings of God. If that God is there, I do not want to hear from him.
Under such an assertion should not want God as thousands of others who perish in kidnappings and not to mention the millions of tragedies that occur daily in the world believers, agnostics and atheists alike.
The other extreme, the poor, gives me a lot more anger. Being immersed in the religious disgrace and the conformism that in the afterlife if they will be rewarded. Needless to delve into this section that we all know and hate.
So most atheists I know from a healthy middle class. The maligned middle class, 'I do not like to admit that I belong to her' middle class. The site of the human consistency.
talk with my nine year old niece and asked me if I am excited because today is Christmas Eve and Santa Claus arrives. For me stop believing in God is comparable to the day I discovered hidden toy at home realizing that what everyone said at the school was true, that neither Santa Claus nor the Kings were real. These expensive toys did affect the family pocket, rich kids no matter how bad it will behave best gifts, the equation counter remains that of the poor. There is a heavenly Watchers who love me and care about my behavior, no rewards or punishments, just love the people I brought into the world and anxious to continue riding the show that I lose sleep on December 24 and on January 5, that makes me write beautiful letters decorated and pleading, that keeps me hoping that a good thing I do will be rewarded with something that both desire. This illusion adults to give children a safety belt does not throw into the void of human life unfair, but also a gift for ourselves and our reality devoid of fantasy. I wish I still have some. Being an atheist is a bit sad, it was easier to impute, ask, trust, plead, have you faith to someone other than me and my small adult contemporary capabilities of the early twenty-first century.
Jesus
Let me say that I miss you, but it is not. I no longer think of it as a consolation and a confessor. The world is a utopia wished I'd like to see done. But that is the problem of utopia, its yours unfulfillment and apparently became the opposite, a very specific kind of dystopia. I know it's just as likely as unlikely your existence. That had taken place, your biography has been more hands than the Mexican constitution and the church he founded has more to be ashamed than proud, nasty game of murderers and swindlers who have nothing to do with the most brilliant passages in the Gospels that inspired. These parables if stored in my memory with love and are life lessons that I try to play without worries compensatory (but, what joke.) Christmas is no longer the same since I stopped believing in you, I'ma little less happy but I become stronger. And sensible.
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